The Societal Microcosm

“No room for racism”. This phrase is written across armbands on football jerseys all over Europe. It is on a constant “advertising” loop around the perimeter of English Premier League stadium fields. But, as the famous French National footballer Thiery Henry said recently, “I’ve had enough of looking at ‘no room for racism’ on every shirt.” after witnessing a Black player receive a yellow card for his goal scoring celebration of shushing the Italian crowd in response to their racist abuse. 

The player was penalized for his celebration because it was considered an arrogant celebration that could incite the crowd, which referees are tasked with managing. This was his second yellow card in the game, which resulted in a red card and being sent off the field. He was suspended for another game as well. After further review the Italian Federation chose to uphold this decision. 

The lack of common sense, empathy, and consideration for the context of what Black players and other players of color experience within these leagues is obvious here. The silencing of dissent is also obvious and likely will have reverberating effects on other players who may now think twice about expressing similar actions. That is precisely the point in silencing dissent. 

Here in the US there’s been a parallel situation unfolding after Dante Vanzeir, a player on the New York Red Bulls, used a racial slur towards a Black player during a Major League Soccer match. The debate unfolding amongst the soccer community has focused on the length of the suspension that this player received. He has been suspended for 6 games. In a league that plays 34 games and has just begun the season. This is the equivalent of a slap on the wrist.

Some have called for at least 20 games suspension. Some have called for more. There’s a number of other consequences that were handed down to Vanzeir, such as an undisclosed fine and restorative education courses. He has since publicly apologized and is appearing to be open to accountability. 

 I’ve been following both of these situations through my committee work with the Equity Action Committee at MLS Next. I’ve been hearing real time conversation among Black coaches and leaders about their opinions and emotions.

I’m writing about these situations under the backdrop of being a white, transgender leader of a youth soccer club that primarily serves kids from communities of color. Just this past week, as I’m digesting all this news, I had a complex conversation with our staff about the racialized language our players use with each other at practices. Our staff includes a Black man and Latina mom of three. Their lived experiences and opinions are critical to the conversation. 

What I learn is that various slurs are being exchanged amongst our players but not with anger, negativity, or maliciousness. These are words that our middle school and high school aged players hear regularly in the halls of their school and within their friend groups. That culture carries over into their time at soccer practice. So, the question for us as an organization, and me as a leader who has not experienced racism, is where is our line on the use of these words? 

We already have a list of banned terms in our policies that all the coaches, players, and parents have been informed about. The intent of the policy is to make it very clear that to ensure we’re creating safe spaces, the use of these words is not tolerated. Our players are very aware that using any of those words in a malicious way towards an opponent, referee, or teammate is not allowed. But, what about the use of these words that has been reclaimed within different cultural groups to show a sign of connection, community, and possibly even respect? 

We concluded that there is greater harm in simplifying the issue and telling players that the use of these words, under any circumstance, is not allowed. Instead we’ve chosen the more complex, slower path of conversation and education.

We think it is critical that our players enter the next phase of their lives as young people of color in the workforce or higher education with the tools to navigate the reality of our society. It’s an unfortunate reality that people of color, gender diverse, and LGBTQ+ people must navigate a society that upholds white supremacist, heterosexual, cisgender dominant norms. But, as a soccer club that is focused on providing a culture of equity and true inclusion, we will never shy away from these hard realities, but instead embrace the challenge of breaking through them to the ultimate goal of liberation. 

Writing in the age of COVID-19

It is impossible to predict anything right now. Questions about the future of our country, the economy, the public health - they all can't be answered beyond what is happening today. This is why I have to take each day as a new opportunity to determine what I can control today. One of the ways to do that is through writing. It helps me to focus on what I am passionate about. I can hone the message I have about creating a more inclusive world for gender diverse people in sports.

It's hard, however, to forget that all sports are currently on hold. The very thing that gave me purpose, hope and sanity as a gender diverse kid is now not available during this crisis. It’s hard to not feel like sports is just a trivial activity when our country has over 80,000 deaths and climbing.

But, then I remember how powerful it is to be a part of a team. The sense of belonging and community is healing. Those aspects are still with every athlete and coach even though we can’t be on the field together. I would argue that is is precisely the experiences of being an athlete or coach that has given our sports community the ability to endure this time. There will always be challenges, tragedies and crisis in our world, but when we rely on each other and our collective skills we are far more likely to emerge stronger on the other side.

Bathroom Justice

Using public bathrooms can be one of the most anxiety producing experiences for transgender and nonbinary people. Even though my gender expression and presentation easily puts me into the “cisgender male” category I haven’t been able to completely shake the past trauma I would experience when using public bathrooms. This story is about an experience using a public bathroom that maybe, just maybe gave me a small sense of justice!

Men Crave Affection With Each other

Male socialization has created a barrier for many cisgender men in American society to show vulnerability and affection with each other. In this story I write about my observations of this from the perspective of someone who has experienced female socialization. The moral of the story is that we are are all being harmed by the rigid “rules” of the gender binary.

Changing the US Men's Soccer Status Quo

I wrote this story after the US Men’s National Soccer Team failed to qualify for the 2018 World Cup tournament in Russia. As the Founding Executive Director of Portland Community Football Club I have personally seen so many young players from marginalized communities excel at soccer, but due to the extreme financial and resource demands that most large competitive soccer clubs require these kids miss out on the quality training that is required to even have a small chance to make it to the big stage. PCFC is a club that is changing that status quo. In this story I write about how PCFC is doing that and how it could be replicated across the country.

There's Always More to a Story

When I came out to players at Portland Community FC on May 1, 2017 there was more layers to that experience than just what was shown in the video. This story describes just one of those layers and highlights why it is so critical that we hear from more transgender voices everywhere, but especially in sports.